I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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