Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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