That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
