DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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