so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize