Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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