I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
