My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize