In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
