I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
