so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My vagina just recognized that song.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
