If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
