You work out of a Hotel?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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