Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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