I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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