Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She's the barista slut.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
