You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
