TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
