just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
