Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize