wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
