My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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