Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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