We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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