wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
