She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
