smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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