I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
