i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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