Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Damn victory sex feels great
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
