Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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