She announced her abortion via fbk
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
