Say something about gay babies.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
