yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
