I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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