I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
