Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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