Just fell off a train. Bad.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
