no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
