I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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