I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
