Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
