.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
