I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
