i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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