didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize