they need to just BURY HIM!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
be right there i have to get my cape
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