I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
