so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
