i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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