census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
