when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
