I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
