gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize