i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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