The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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