What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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