he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize