I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
