We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
