it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
