mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
