I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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