I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
