We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
