I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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