Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
