I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
