I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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