We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
